Tyson Bio

Some time in the early 80s, while fluorescent colors covered everything and cocaine flowed freely in high end bathrooms, a socially-awkward and morally-dubious creature was discovered in the backwoods of a small trash-town in Maine. The beast sneezed and unloaded his nostrils on whatever it could find when it was discovered; little has changed.

The questionable creature was brought inside where it was discovered to also be allergic to the in-doords as well, albeit less so. The creature was named Tyson by the family that volunteered to care for the pitiful monster as it seemed easier than yelling “hey you, stop biting the dog” or other such nonsense. When left to its own devices, Tyson would hide by himself and craft what anthropologists would call indiginous art, with pencil and paper, construction paper and scissors (who let this animal have scissors?) and any other medium he could get his dirty paws on. He was gifted a vintage collection of lego to the dismay of the family, as Tyson was forever digging noisily through the pile, while looking for that one piece he most definitely had while some form of wrestling was on the TV, or possibly Airwolf. At a fairly early age Tyson was supplied with an ancient cache of video games as an attempt to keep him quiet and docile locked away in his room.

Attempts to civilize Tyson largely failed through grade school as he was largely incapable of co-existing with the snobs and doctor’s children that he was surrounded with. By high school he was able to use enough actual language between the grunts and waving of his hands for other teenagers to understand him, and was accepted into their clans. From these early social engagements he learned of tabletop games. 

Quite obviously to fill some sort of quota, Tyson was accepted into a college where he would attempt to turn his primitive cave-style scrawling into a degree using graphic design software. He joined additional gaming tribes and spent many nights hunkered around a table casting dice and talking in funny voices to the other troglodytes that hovered over the same game table like a fire set on a cave floor.

A wonderful and charismatic woman took it upon herself to take over caring for the generally bipedal beast. The two of them escaped across state lines several times for unknown reasons and came to rest most recently in southern New Hampshire. The insanely obsessive compulsions that Tyson exhibits began to wear off on the poor lass and they have been known to play table top and video games together, or binge watch television when she reluctantly allows him to sit on the furniture.

Tyson has been spotted in the wild hoarding and painting the following Warhammer armies, although it is clear that he doesn’t play as often as he wishes from the frustrated monosyllabic sounds he makes and minor tantrums he readily presents:


  • Adeptus Astartes, Dark Angels
  • Adeptus Astartes, Ultramarines
  • Adeptus Astartes, Salamanders
  • Adeptus Astartes, Iron Hands
  • Adeptus Astartes, Deathwatch
  • Adeptus Astartes, Grey Knights
  • Adeptus Custodes, Emissaries Imperatus
  • Adeptus Mechanicus, Forgeworld Mars
  • Imperial Knights, House Taranis


  • Delaque Gang


  • Legio Ignatum


  • Heretic Astartes, Word Bearers
  • Heretic Astartes, Iron Warriors
  • Chaos Daemons, Khorne


  • Tyrannies, Hive Fleet Behemoth

Age of Sigmar:

  • Flesh Eater Court
  • Soulblight Gravelords

When he can get himself together enough to pull the fingers out of his filthy ears and stop humming that tune while rocking back and forth, Tyson enjoys consuming the following forms of Media.


  • Tool
  • Ministry
  • Nine Inch Nails
  • Combichrist

Video Games:

  • Warcraft
  • Fallout
  • Mass Effect
  • Elder Scrolls
  • Doom
  • The Witcher
  • Dragon Age
  • Assassins Creed


  • SE7EN
  • Pulp Fiction
  • Inception
  • Fight Club
  • 12 Monkeys
  • Aliens
  • Terminator 2
  • The Crow
  • Stargate


  • Neil Stephenson
  • Stephen Donaldson
  • William Gibson
  • Dan Simmons