Retro Games Rediscovered: Untitled Goose Game


Geese are assholes.  It may not be a popular sentiment in some circles, but they are.  The first place I worked after separating from the military was a large two building campus complex.  Between those two buildings was a path that led back to a slightly wooded pond.  Every spring families of geese would show up to build nests for their little ones, and every spring you avoided that area like the plague.  Unless of course you enjoyed being hissed at and chased by large, spiteful waterfowl.  I guess that can be a thing for someone?  If it is, then rock on.  I’m not here to judge.  I understood why the geese acted that way, but it still made them assholes nonetheless. 

If I’m being truly candid there were moments when I was jealous of the geese.  Just to be surly towards people for absolutely no good reason.  Sure sometimes they were protecting their little guys but not always.  It was those non protective moments that I wanted to be the goose.  To just honk and hiss at bosses and coworkers you don’t like so you can be left alone to do your job would be pretty amazing. 

So when I saw this game drop in 2019 I knew I needed a copy of it.

Untitled Goose Game launch trailer.

The Game

Untitled Goose Game is a puzzle/stealth game developed by House House and was published by Panic, Inc. in 2019.  In the game you play a goose that roams around a quiet English village wreaking havoc on the local inhabitants.  The game is divided into four sections where the player has a number of objectives that need to be completed on their to-do list.  Once every objective but one is complete, a final objective becomes available.  Once that final objective has been completed the player can move into the next section.  As the goose, you have a number of ways to complete each task, ranging from scaring villagers by honking at them, standing up like a big boy and flapping your wings, ducking down low and being super stealthy, and stealing small objects with your beak when no one is looking. 

The environment plays a huge role, as often a well-timed distraction is required; stealing the gardener’s key ring is way easier when he’s dealing with the water spigot you just turned on and the sprinklers are going crazy.  And speaking of the task list, items to complete are very simply worded.  They range from things like Have a Picnic, where the player needs to bring someone’s lunch and snacks to a picnic blanket, or Toss the Rake in the Lake, where players need to grab the gardener’s rake and toss it in the nearby pond. 

One of my favorite tasks is Peace Was Never An Option, where you pick a butter knife and chase people.  There are also hidden objectives that unlock once the game is complete.  Players are able to complete these inadvertently while playing the first time but won’t know what they are until after the credits roll.  The game also allows for two-player antics so you can easily jump on with a friend and terrorize the villagers in tandem.

Remember: You mess with the honk you get the bonk.

Completion time for the game will run around 2-3 hours, perfect for a lazy afternoon.  Overall it’s incredibly enjoyable and much more fun to play with friends.  The game is pretty basic and a little shallow, with tasks becoming somewhat repetitive as time goes on.  But let’s face facts: no one plays a game like this for its deep commitment to character development or incredible lore.  We play games like this because the question is asked how much fun it would be to play a goose that’s a total dick to nearby humans.  The answer is that it’s incredibly fun and worth the time put in. 

Translation: Goose says buy this game now.  I agree.

Untitled Goose Game is available on Nintendo Switch, Steam, Playstation, and Xbox.

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A New England transplant that originated from parts westward, Ryan is a bit of a nerd that knows a little bit about a lot of things, all while claiming to know nothing about anything.  Seemingly part Khajit a logistician by trade, he’s the kind of guy that can get you virtually anything if there’s coin to be had a problem to solve.  Ryan began to learn the scrounging arts while serving time in parts east as a Loggie and has been perfecting them steadily over several decades.  He has a problem with continually purchasing models, paints, and terrain that he doesn’t really need but his wife doesn’t seem to mind.

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